i believe it was kanye west who said, 'N-n-now that that don't kill me can only make me stronger'
So here we are, just over a week into Unemployment Beard Watch 2012, and it's coming in quite nicely. Oh, not MINE! Mine is still a bit sparse, but last night I did pluck a white hair from my jawline that was so long I briefly considered spinning it into a cozy blanket we could huddle under should our heat get turned off because we couldn't pay the bill.
Oh, I kid, of course. I refuse to believe things will get that bad. Mostly because I don't know how to crochet. Thank heaven for our mild winter so far!
Just before our world exploded last week, I was preparing to write a 'woe is me, nothing made me happy this week, wah wah wah' post. Boo hoo, I was diagnosed with my very first bladder infection. Oh, yeah? Well your baby boy turned 10, too. Double digits. How's that make you feel? Pretty sad, huh? Well guess what? BOOM! Let's get fired (clap, clap, clapclapclap!)! That's a kick in the gonads, gut, and teeth, but you better duck because, whoops! No insurance!
We're still in the process of figuring things out. The hours remaining for the lying bastards He Who Shall Not Be Called Tool Man Any Longer once worked for to contest his unemployment benefits are waning. We're waiting on a DHS appointment for assistance, and options are being explored. In the meantime, the garage I once loathed because it harbored box after box of crap from his employer is being cleaned out (we seriously celebrated finding 23 pennies on the floor, but not nearly as much as we did a few days later when Unemployed Man plucked a dollar from the snow at church Sunday. God provides!)
I'm looking for a second job, and hope to take on a short term writing job with our church. Neither option is going to make us financially comfortable during this transition period, but we're doing everything we can think of.
We're also appreciating all the kindness and good thoughts being given to us. If nothing made me happy last week, this week has been overwhelming, starting with the stranger I approached to help at the store last Thursday who insisted I enjoy a free Godiva chocolate bar she'd purchased ("I will take this home and feed it to my family, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory-style!" I cried)(Not really. I did cry, though. Damn, last week was rough.). That sort of kindness has continued this week Friends and family have delivered bags of groceries and dog food to our door, and slipped money into my purse. The words and prayers all of you (welcome, strangers!) offered me mean a lot, too, and I regret not having the emotional stamina to thank you all personally. Please know I do, and if you have more - or, better yet, a job! - I will appreciate them, as well.
I still cry a lot, don't get me wrong, but when I'm done, I look at what our family and friends have stepped in to do and I am determined to pay it back AND pay it forward when we once again can.
I just hope it's soon. I thought I was already strong, but clearly I'm not strong enough because I feel like I'm carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders.
Labels: or perhaps it was Nietzsche